


The Hoodie

by heartykeykeke



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Bonds, Friends for Life, Friendship, Growing Pains, Light Angst, M/M, Missed Opportunities, Mutual Pining, One-Sided Love, Open Ending, Regrets, Romantic Fluff, Second Chances, Slice of Life, Soulmates, cherish what you have, doubts, happiness comes in little things, happy vibes, layers of emotions, letting go, positives make positives, reference to real events, take note of the little things, threads of destiny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:20:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23153149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartykeykeke/pseuds/heartykeykeke
Summary: In life, we learn sometimes too late that we should cherish the little things instead of worrying over the big picture. See a growing, ever-lasting friendship through the strings of a hoodie. And a few missed opportunities, tears, and life lessons along the way.Playlist while you listen, i've incorporated the lyrics because they inspired my for what happens:Nervous : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFqJPNfiAWMCircles : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sca9FP6zl8
Relationships: Kang Daniel & Ong Seongwu, Kang Daniel/Ong Seongwu
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	The Hoodie

“Ah-chooo! Uh..” *sniff*

“Hmm?”

Daniel stopped in the middle of grappling with a grey and white hoodie. It was a gift from a sponsor but unfortunately it was proving to be an ill fit for his ocean broad shoulders. He groaned, tugged fiercely at the cloth and came up from the suffocating folds with a desperate gasp for air. The limp, tangled cloth hanging from his limbs seemed depressed that it wouldn’t be used by its owner as he turned his head to the other side of the room. 

His roommate was on his low, single, messily unmade bed, rubbing his round nose tip and then his slender, bare arms.

“Are you cold hyung?” Daniel asked with concern.

The brunette adorned with a black T-shirt lifted his head and stuck out his elongated, pale as snow neck, midnight orbs bugged out in an adorable, cat-like fashion.

“Neh? Uh, hmm. Maybe a little bit?” he answered with uncertainty and slight shyness. 

“This doesn’t fit me. You take it. It’s just how you like it, over-sized, simply designed and cozy.”

Seongwoo performed two of his heart-stopping, weird, signature blink after catching the balled fabric tossed his way. Daniel’s wide smile was as brilliant as diamonds. 

“Is that okay? You sure? It’s brand new…”

“Yup. It’s okay if I say it is, so just take it. I can’t use it anyway. Don’t worry, it’s not from fans.”

“Oh, good. Okay. I’ll use it well. Thank you, Niel-ah.”

“You don’t need to thank me, hyung. We’re family.”

“Haha. Right.”

For a moment, time seemed to stand still as they sweetly smiled at each other with fondness and a comfortable air seeping through their pores. 

Seongwoo eventually put it on at Daniel’s insistence, joking about how he was dozing again. It fit exactly the way that Seongwoo liked it—super baggy, drooping past his bony hips, practically swallowing his dainty hands, loose around the neck and shoulders. He smiled warmly as he wrapped his fingers around the edge of the sleeves. 

“I love it already. It feels like it was made for me.”

“It looks that way as well. It totally suits you, hyung. You look good. Well, not that there’s a day otherwise. Even in the morning with bed hair and sleep gunk.”

Seongwoo flushed while Daniel sheepishly, dorkily laughed and scratched the back of his head. “Why’d I say that? Ah, embarrassing…” the fluffy blond muttered, slipping into his thick, husky Busan accent.

Seongwoo’s ears were flaming the same light cherry shade as Daniel’s and he couldn’t stop his wavy, kitten lips from stretching his fine-featured face painfully, his sparkling eyes nearly invisible he was smiling too hard. 

“Me too, making me feel shy…”

It was the truth though. One that the whole group and most of the staff new. Daniel found Seongwoo ridiculously handsome and almost every minor thing he did was adorable enough to make him pass out laughing or stare with a dumb smile. The rapper didn’t hide his near whipped-level of admiration for the singer, though he did get humiliated like this when he burst out his thoughts. Seongwoo felt the same way, although he was no stranger to flattery. It simply hit differently with Daniel since many months ago. He felt tingly, bashful, full of joy, wanting to both giddily dance and hide under his mountain of seals.

“Sorry about that, Ongcheongie. Looks like we’re the last ones into the van again. I expect we’ll get an earful of teasing about what we’re up to. Up we go, seal prince.”

Daniel grabbed onto his wrists gently as if he had some sort of fear of his hands and pulled the more slender man up effortlessly. Seongwoo was used to it and expecting it, so he didn’t go flying several feet with embarrassed panicked noises as in the past. They performed some sort of graceful acrobatic act, him landing on his feet like a graceful cat and Daniel appearing unphased, as if he’d instead picked up a bag of jellies instead of a full-grown, tall man. 

Whereas Daniel’s hands would fly off him right after he was stable on his feet as if he were coated with a suit of sizzling hot iron, today he slid to the bump of his palms and lingered there, his fingers brushing in a subtle caress. His expression was strange as well, turning from playful and joyous one moment to conflicted and thoughtful, his eyes drifting to the lower half of his face. Seongwoo’s breath caught in his throat, his skin buzzing and heart racing with sudden nervousness. 

Is it the time to tell him how I feel? Hmm, on second thought…No, maybe not a good idea. We’ve got to get going and it’s a full day of schedules. No worries. We have a lot more time. The chance will come if it’s meant to. I don’t want to be the one to say it first unless I have to anyway. How mortifying it would be to learn I misread the signs and he doesn’t feel the same. 

“Niellie, let’s get going before they leave without us, hmm?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, good idea.”

In a flash, the rapper who had sunk into a daze’s hands were gone, one raised up to his mouth immediately after to attack the poor pinked flesh there with his sharp, pearly teeth. Daniel had a habit of nail biting, though Seongwoo wasn’t sure what caused him to do it so frequently recently. 

The friends had no idea how many minutes or hours they’d been hugging at this point. The concept of time was the farthest thing from their minds. The only thing they could focus on was their intense grief. 

The realization that they’d be alone from today on as they went their own separate ways to take different paths hit them like a truck. They wouldn’t be roommates anymore. Which meant those late-night nonsensical talks and casual drinking sessions would abruptly stop. They wouldn’t be sitting together in the van, so none of that sharing ear phones, falling asleep on a pillowy shoulder. They wouldn’t be attending shows or leaving the stage side by side anymore. Living and working completely alone. It was a daunting idea. 

Saying goodbye was a million times harder than they’d imagine it would be. That day they learned how important they were to each other, how great of a companion they’d found, how much they’d relied on the other, the huge presence they’d had in their lives and their heart. It slammed over their heads like a tsunami, chilling and wetting them to the bone, making them feel weighed down with melancholy. All they could do that night to get through it somehow was to cling to the person they already missed and push away the horrid, unwelcome reality while crying their eyes out.

When they finally peeled away from their embrace, the two singers were exhausted, puffy eyes, and drenched. Their voices were hoarse and their breath uneven and shaky. They were avoiding each other’s eyes and standing a meter apart for fear that doing otherwise would re-start the break-down process they were struggling with. 

This wasn’t how this farewell party was supposed to go. No-one else was as miserably distraught and hugging desperately in some shadowy corner of the restaurant endlessly like them, no matter how sad they were to part with the staff and members they’d been with for years. Neither said why it was this terribly hard on them, but the answer was obvious at least to themselves deep-down. Why their hearts were stinging as if pierced by a thousand knives, chests aching as if anvils pressed down from every angle to the point of bursting.

They’d run out of time to act on those feelings and ask those important questions though. They’d been running in circles out of fear and self-doubt, up until the point that they’d unknowingly smacked into the wall of their expiration date. They had been clinging to each other, desperately waiting for the other to say something about what their relationship was, what they wanted to continue on as. They had wanted to hear that the mistake had been intentional; that their relationship was something special beyond the guise of best friends they hid behind when people questioned or teased about their suspiciously close relationship. That was the major reason why they couldn’t end the hug easily. 

In the end, the last chance moment had come to an end uneventfully. The opportunity whizzing by ungrasped like all the countless others. There was no significant change between them and there wasn’t going to be it was clear. 

Seongwoo had a lot of things he wanted to say but no courage to get them out in an organized manner. He would either run away from this hopeless situation after this or wait for Daniel to make a move, silently daring him to do something. He didn’t want to take the blame for ruining their friendship. 

Daniel, on the other hand, assumed that he had foolishly hoped that what happened meant something special. He guessed his feelings and all that he’d done to openly yet subtly express it, waiting for hints to be picked up on with this man that was any woman’s dream was doomed from the get-go. In the end, that one time they didn’t speak of had just been drunken, experimental sex that only he couldn’t get the haunting, wonderful echoes out of his mind. It was ample time for him to let go of his pent-up, hidden feelings for his friend. It couldn’t be the way that he wanted it to be. He would never be special in that sort of way to Seongwoo. 

This farewell was the end of a lot more than just their career in a boy group. They’d still be friends though. They always would care for each other, of course. But, at least for Daniel, it was going to be different now that he felt like a hopeless idiot and decided to give up on pursuing a romantic relationship. 

“What about the hoodie?” Seongwoo with his button-nose red like Rudolph muttered softly. 

He happened to be wearing the grey and white hoodie that Daniel had given to him that one day. It was one of his favorites so whenever the weather was chilly, he tended to wear it several times a week. He’d grown quite attached to it but now that he thought about it, they’d sorted through almost all the clothes they’d borrowed, returning them to their rightful owner but they’d yet to talk about this one particular garment. He sort of hated to part with it because it felt like the last shred of the strings of destiny in the universe keeping them connected and he was worried that giving it up would throw him off the edge of the cliff he was precariously balancing on at the moment. 

“Keep it. Wear it when you get lonely. If you happen to miss me, that is. Though who would miss the bratty, noisy choding with the terrible sleeping habits.”

Seognwoo’s shoulders sank with relief, weighed down further by the exhaustion of this night of goodbyes and misery. He smiled weakly, looking at the other’s handsomely curved nose. 

He stated honestly though he knew the other was making a lame joke because he was uncomfortable with emotional situations, “Of course I’ll miss you, Niel.”

Daniel attempted a smile but it faded a couple seconds after he’d managed it. He’d never looked so incredibly sad and brittle as if someone in his family had just died. Seongwoo had to look back at his nose, holding himself back from taking him back into his arms and giving him all the comfort he could muster with his small body.

He whispered in a choked tone. “I’ll miss you too, hyung.”

“Hmm, I guess you can drink something sweet. That should remind you.”

Seongwoo’s attempt at a joke had their moods slightly lifted. They were able to smile, briefly. Daniel even snorted. 

“Good idea. Sweet tooth and sweater paws and that time at the dentist. How could I forget?”

“Right, there’s a lot between us that would be hard to forget.”

That introspective comment from the brunette who looked off into the foggy distance and wrapped his arms around his chest as if he were cold and empty sunk them back into somber, heavy depths. Loneliness was creeping into his every poor like the wisps of blackness after dark. 

“You’re wearing that ratty hoodie again? Just throw it out already. It doesn’t match your image as an accomplished, classy actor. You can afford a thousand new ones of those if you really must wear hoodies. Really, I don’t get you.”

Seongwoo’s manager sighed, glaring at the grey and white hoodie he was adjusting the slightly tattered, make-up and sweat stained neckline of as if it had personally offended him then proceeded to curse his family. He smiled sheepishly, blushed, and put on a mysterious smile through the mirror while lovingly brushing the fabric that had seen better days for certain. 

“Molla~” he sang cheekily with a shoulder dance. “It’s just that, my preciousss~”

His manager rolled his eyes and shook his head as if he were a hopeless rebellious teenager he couldn’t fathom or control. 

“Stop with the lame old-man jokes. I’ll gag. Here’s a bottle of water. You need to drink the whole thing before we go.” 

After giving him a run-down of their next schedule and giving him some walnut snacks to munch on, Seongwoo was left alone. He pushed aside the offensive bottle of water, then looked over the raw photos of the shoot that he’d just finished while stuffing his cheeks full, humming in delight at the sweet taste and soft texture.

Why did he wear that hoodie, he asked? The answer was simple yet deep. Because he was a person that kept his word mainly. 

Despite he was still friends with the owner, they were both busy and talked less and less as the seasons passed. They’d never seen each other since the day they said goodbye and on chilly days like today, Seongwoo recalled him and was struck by a painful sense of loneliness. 

He wore it often because he missed Daniel, just as Daniel had suggested he do with it. Despite he’d long since lost his chance to be something special with him, he stupidly clung to the only memento he had left to recall his kindness and affectionate actions by, back when Daniel had treated him more like a boyfriend, frequently doting on him which he now saw had been so obvious. It was the only thing that dulled the ache and warmed up his chilly, lonely, doubtful soul. In a way, it was a mark that he had not only let go of those lingering feelings from happier, less lonely and easier times but wasn’t ready to. 

*creak*

“Oh! Hyung~”

Seongwoo whipped around quickly at the sound of the loveliest, excited voice he hadn’t heard directly in ages. It was a stroke of sheer magic. A miracle he’d only dreamed would happen. 

There his long-time friend, once and possible still crush stood, filling up the entire door frame with his massive build. Daniel was even bigger and taller somehow than he remembered. His hair was long, wavy, and a silvery-blackish-blue-green. It was an odd, undefinable color but it was cool nonetheless. As always, whatever Daniel wore or did with his hair, his incomparable, fathomless vat of charisma made him shine like a hero. He was the epitome of cool and handsome, though at the moment his face was an exclamation point of surprise. 

“Oh? Hey! So, you really took me up on that recommendation. Nice~”

Nice was of course an understatement. Anyone could tell that Seongwoo and Daniel were genuinely delighted to see each other, though attempting to play it cool because that’s how they always were. 

“Nuuguseyo?”

Seongwoo eagerly jumped up from his seat and rushed into the hip-hop, stylishly dressed man hodling out his arms with a blinding, heart-stealing smile. 

“Saranghaeyo~”

“Haha. Me too, me too. Long time no see, buddy!”

Seongwoo wasn’t sure if he was allowed to say that because of certain rumors that went around about Daniel since the previous year, but he decided ‘to hell with it’. It was true that he loved him, he didn’t need to know that it might be beyond as friends once or still. Love was love, friends could feel love. The singer surely knew the actor cared about him a lot, that they’d always be tight even if they couldn’t talk. True friends were like that. They didn’t need to constantly contact each other to maintain their closeness. They were so close from back then that it couldn’t fully fade.

The hug lasted was twice as hard and long as their famous hug during the end of the show that allowed them to debut, work and live together so long ago. If fans saw it, they might even argue that it rivaled it in terms of full-scale uwu-ness. It was clear from that how truly joyous they were to see each other, thumping and rubbing with affection, swaying back and forth as if they were waltzing. It was a blessed, heart-warming, touching moment which was luckily mostly private. 

Seongwoo’s skin prickled where Daniel poked his arm. “Oh, this looks familiar. Isn’t it…”

“Yeah, that’s right. Funny that I happened to feel cold today and it was jumping out at me from the depths of my black-hole of a closet. As you can see from its state, I’ve used it well. It’s a very happy, beloved hoodie.”

The man sitting on the edge of the chair Seongwoo was in while the stylist worked on applying make up to his smooth, flawless skin that hardly needed any chuckled. His finger wiggled lightly over his arm, making the sensitive actor squirm. His expression softened, making him look even more like a marshmallow because of the healthy amount of fluff on his face and the white jacket he wore.

“I guess we’re still connected in that weird way then, fellow scientist. I was thinking of you earlier while passing by our company café. Suddenly, I really wanted to drink a caramel macchiato. Maybe the universe was telling me subconsciously that I was going to bump into you. Sometimes that happens. I randomly think of you and then I get this craving for something sweet, like you suggested. Odd, huh? But you probably know exactly what I feel. You get cold or think of me and want to wear the hoodie I left you with, right?”

Daniel resembled an excited puppy asking for pets and praise. It was adorable, though it hardly fit his image and age. He was a middle aged super famous CEO now. The puppiness was ingrained in him and would possibly never fade out. 

Seongwoo nodded and hummed, unable to speak because of the snack in his mouth. A moment of comfortable, calming silence followed. The stylist paused for Daniel to open his mouth and take the treat that Seongwoo had offered. Seongwoo knew he was hungry even before his stomach had making strange noises. They had used to compete who could eat the most, able to eat four to five meals a day if they weren’t restricted to dieting and weren’t weighed down with back to back schedules. 

This moment side by side was incredibly pleasant, sending them skipping giddily down memory lane. It almost felt like they traveled in time, as if they were waiting for their group schedule to start. Back then as well they’d been stuck to each other like paper and glue, chatting, snacking and joking while getting their make-up done. They wouldn’t go somewhere else and instead would wait for the other to be done with his primping. 

Daniel gratefully smiled, showing his cute buck teeth Seongwoo was glad to see he hadn’t gotten fixed like the lower set as it was crucial to have a signature. He hadn’t gotten rid of his kitten fangs either. It was number three of his top five incredibly unique charms Daniel had once confessed abruptly on a radio show, making him nearly faint from the attack of feels. Perhaps it was because of that that he’d hesitated to get his teeth fully fixed before his drama debut. 

“I’ve barely drank any of it. Here, it’s better than that bottle of water they gave you, I assume.”

“Thanks.” 

Seongwoo took the caramel colored, creamy drink he offered with a smug smile, feeling a similar rush of satisfaction and pride like that one day that Daniel had stolen someone’s blanket to give it to him to take a nap. It had always been amazing back then how Daniel sensed what he wanted or needed and then went out of his way to baby him like that. He told himself not to get any misunderstandings from it because surely Daniel wasn’t into him that way after all these years even if he was still like that. Daniel was just a caring person and he happened to have a soft spot for him for some reason, that was all. He should just tell his overactive brain to shut up and enjoy being spoiled. It had been a long time since someone had made him feel special; he liked it a lot. 

I’m glad I didn’t throw this hoodie out. I suppose it’s what brought us back to this. That last thread connecting us turns out to be incredibly strong unexpectedly.

Whatever happens from now, I’m going to cherish this time together with this important, sweet person all the more. No overthinking or labeling, I just plan to bask in this fate-gifted, stolen bit of private ‘us’ time. Because who knows when the universe is going to allow it again. Truly, you never know how precious something is until it’s gone. So, let’s just sink the entirety of this joyous moment in, simply allowing myself to feel blissful, carefree, and whole again with the best companion. 

Thank you, my precious, tattered hoodie. Thank you for bringing my favorite person back.

**Author's Note:**

> This little story is full of emotional layers, all connected by this special grey and white hoodie which you all know. (fluffy exciting one-sided love layer, realization that it's the end and dealing with the grief layer, growing from letting go though you couldn't manage it fully yet and getting a pleasant surprise when you least expect it so fluff, angst, open positive ending). I sort of wanted to explore the idea of loving secretly, losing, growing, getting second chances, learning life lessons through pain and loneliness and introspection while addressing my own take on why that darn hoodie keeps coming up in Ong's life. Haha. Excuse my delusions, it's prob got nothing to deal with Niel at all. But...what if it did? I wonder that a lot. And this last video Ong had he was wearing it again and my brain just lost it like 'that's enough! We're going to write a story about this!' And while thinking about why that hoodie might be important and appear so often all this time later well, this was my idea. Because we know that Ong is fond of it and also that he's been struggling with loneliness and who wasn't broken by the way they clung to each other in that 1:52 video? I feel cleansed now I got that out of my system, the idea had been plaguing me for some time. I wanted to write a light angst story addressing real life events such as their separation and such. I vaguely referenced real life things here but it's really up to your interpretation, you can take this coupling as we know, try to guess what I'm referring to here or you can take it as an alternate reality and make up your own backdrop etc. 
> 
> I hope that it wasn't too sad and left you feeling cleaned and positive as well~ I felt healed and good while writing and editing it. Like I was being comforted with a warm hug after having my heart stepped on? Yeah, that sort of feeling I suppose. Kinda how they make me feel.
> 
> Let's hope there's a time where they bump into each other back stage or at a shooting set because it's definitely possible ya know? They're friendship is surely still tight and maybe they'll have a second chance to be together? Who knows with these soulmates but I wish them the best and fully support their adorable, tight friendship. 
> 
> See you in the near future! Thank you for joining my delusions. May it be healing for your scarred soul. 
> 
> Shout out to Cici who is the first person I have ever seen connect a relationship to an object. I'm not creative enough to make this ongniel through the eyes of the hoodie but I was definitely inspired by that beautiful, sad tale of everlasting friendship and cherishing an object for years that connects you to someone. She planted that idea in my mind that there's objects such as that hoodie that maybe we can't give up or let go no matter how tattered and broken they get because of the deeper significance of an emotion or a time period or a bond to us. What a magnificent writer she is and I absolutely love that bed story though I forgot the title T.T i hope that this story has that similar light melancholy, vaguely sweet, heart-wrenching tone to it. 
> 
> <3 Raina


End file.
